From Disorientation to Harmony: Autoethnographic Insights into Transformative Videogame Experiences

Videogames can transform the perspectives and attitudes of players. Prior discussion on this transformative potential has typically been limited to non-entertainment videogames with explicit transformational goals. However, recreational gaming appears to hold considerable potential for igniting deeply personal experiences of profound transformation in players. Towards understanding this phenomenon, we conducted an explorative autoethnographic study. For this, the first author played five narrative-driven videogames while collecting self-observational and self-reflective data of his experience during and outside gameplay. Our findings offer intimate insights into the trajectory and emotional qualities of personally meaningful and transformative videogame experiences. For example, we found that gameplay experiences that were initially perceived as bewildering or disorienting could evolve into more harmonious experiences laden with personal meaning. This shift in experience developed through different forms of subsequent re-engagement with initially discrepant game encounters.